A Future For Us
by hammer227
Summary: episode addiction to 6x02 'Blacklist'. Mac's dealing with the memories the case brought up to surface and Stella is there to help him get throught it. SMacked!


**Disclameir**: they are not mine ok? because if the were do you really think that whole bad and wrong thing between Stella and the lab rat would have happened? please....anyway don't sue me, i'm just playing with them, i promise to return them....eventually....

**A/N**: So, i was shocked about the whole Stella/Adam thing, i'm not over it yet though, anyway...i felt like i had to write something to make feel better all the SMacked shippers like me and the episode 'Blacklist' gave me the inspiration for this fic. I hope you'll like this. Also this story is not beta'ed and english is not my mother tongue so you've been warned of the hundreds of mistaked in there.

**SMACKED - SMACKED - SMAKED - SAMCKED**

"_You don__'t sound well"_

"_And you sound frustrated"_

"_It'll pass, always does…"_

Instinctively his head turned toward the reason of why his frustration, his anger, his nervousness and sometimes his sadness always passed, Stella Bonasera; co-worker, right-hand, friend and after what happened in Greece he realized that maybe she was something more than just his best friend. She was watching him, her concern evident in her green expressive eyes while she and Adam were trying to track down the latest New York's psycho killer.

While the insane person on the other end of the phone kept ranting he found himself thinking that he was really glad and thankful for her friendship, she was the only person who he could trust with his life, the only one who could read him like an open book and the only one he was prone to let in.

She's always been there for him, after Claire died she was the one who picked up the pieces and put them back together, after Don's accident she was the one who stayed with him at the hospital to watch over their friend, after he'd been kidnapped she was the one who moved heaven and earth to find him, she was -and always will be- his anchor and his rock whenever he needed, of that he was sure, therefore when later that day she stepped into his office with another piece of the puzzle that formed this case and she noticed the distress in his features he wasn't too surprised of her question:

"_What's wrong?"_

"_He's going after someone else."_

He lied, no he didn't lie he could never lie to her, he just withhold part of the reason of why he was so troubled, even though she probably knew by now the real cause. He told her about his father's death and the cancer, he also told her that his father was a hero and above all _his_ hero, he looked up to him, he admired him and his death has been really hard on him; this case was re-opening a wound that has never completely healed and probably never will.

The case processed, the team found a connection between a nurse and their suspect, Hawkes and Mac managed to save the nurse that was being held hostage into the hospital's elevator and eventually they discovered the location of the killer and arrested him before it was too late, they brought him at the hospital and now he was granted the treatment he needed only because he was entitled to a fair trial, much to Mac's disappointment.

When he left the room he felt exhausted both physically and emotionally, memories once locked deep down were catching up on him, Claire, his father, his mother, the last days he spent at his father's bedside, the funeral…it was just too much to cope all over again and all at once.

He laid a hand on some hospital machinery for support, lack of sleep, food and most of all the heartache those memories were causing him finally took their toll on his body and soul.

And there it was when he felt it, a soft small hand on his back, rubbing in slow circular motion, soothing him, calming him, warming him inside and making the pain ease out.

He didn't even need to turn around, he knew it was Stella and she was there for him once again, by his side ready to catch him –not only physically- and support him until he needed.

The hand that was rubbing his tense back moved over his rough hand, she took it in her much smaller one and gave it a little tug.

"C'mon Mac, you need food and rest. Let's get you something decent to eat and then if you'll be a good boy I might even give you some ice cream after dinner." She tried to lighten the mood.

He just nodded almost as if he didn't even hear what she said, no protests, no resistance, no stubborn Mac saying 'Stel, I'm fine' or 'I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself', and in that moment she realized that this case had affected him way more than she thought. Never letting go of his hand he directed him to the exit of the hospital and then where her car was parked, he sat in the passenger seat quietly and waited for Stella to take him home.

Every now and then during the journey Stella threw looks sideway at him, she was worried about her best friend, it wasn't like him not to put up a fight when she told him he needed to rest or eat, and that defeated and sad look on his ever expressive blue eyes had her worried even more. She tried to make small talks but he replied in monosyllabic words and strangely never looking her in the eye, always with his head slightly turned to watch out of the window.

When they reached their destination she parked, he slid out of the car and she followed him up to his apartment, when inside he flicked the lights on and stood in the middle of the living room, not moving, as if he was lost.

A long minute passed and still no signs of movements from him, so after a deep breath she decided to take the situation in her own hand and said:

"Look Mac, why don't you go get a shower while I fix us some dinner?"

With a nod of his head he left the living room, Stella quite concerned by his odd behaviour headed toward the kitchen too see what she had to work with in order to make dinner and she wasn't shocked at all when she found Mac's fridge half empty: eggs, bread, milk and something that looked suspiciously like left-over pizza but she wasn't totally sure about that, anyway nothing suitable for a decent meal so she decided to go to the near grocery store and buy what she needed. When she informed him that she'd be gone for a couple of minutes he at least had the grace to reply from the bathroom:

"Yeah ok…take my keys to get back in then."

"Wow, we're making progresses, that was a whole sentence." She though just before she left.

Hot water was cascading on his tense shoulders and down his back but it did nothing to relax his muscles or warm the cold that he was still feeling inside. The case brought back to surface memories he's tried hard to push deep down in the vain attempt to not feel the pain again, but it didn't work, the memories were there again along with the so familiar to him, sense of loss and loneliness and he couldn't help the sadness he was feeling even if he wanted to.

With his mind still haunted by painful memories he stepped out of the shower, quickly dried his body not bothering with the hair and changed in a T-shirt and sweat pants before leaving the bathroom and walk straight to the window in the living room without registering that Stella was already back.

She's been gone at least half an hour and when she came back and found that Mac was still in the shower her concern escalated,

"Maybe something happened while I wasn't here…"she thought.

But suddenly the bathroom door opened, she stopped unloading the bags and went to see if Mac was alright, she saw him head toward the window not even acknowledging her presence and stopped there, obviously his mind miles away.

She walked until she stood by his side but staying slightly behind him, she didn't want to startle him or disturb him and she knew that when he was ready he would talk, but this silence was unnerving her, it was like she couldn't do anything to help her best friend and therefore she felt useless.

Gently she laid a hand on his shoulder and that seemed to get his attention, he turned around, green eyes meeting blue troubled ones and locked together, the next thing she knew was that she was hugging him to her, it had been a reflex when she saw anguish, pain and fear in those blue pools she was so fond of. He didn't resist the hug in fact he lowered his head and nestled it in the crook of her neck, his arms wrapped around her slender waist holding on her as if his life depended on it, feeling his despair she hugged him even more tightly, their bodies pressed together and his breath tickling her neck while he breathed in deeply. One of her hand left his back and went to the back of his head, gently stroking his short damp hair, the other moving up and down his back, feeling the strong tense muscles and trying as best as she could to loosen them.

They stayed like that for a while before Mac finally spoke, just a soft whisper, so quite that Stella had to strain her ears to hear what he said:

"I miss them Stel, I miss them so much."

His voice didn't falter, his words were firm but full of emotions and that was enough to make Stella shiver and tighten her grip on him, if that was possible. She didn't have to ask, she already knew who he was referring to with that statement: his father and Claire, the case shocked him to the core, it had really hit him hard this time, she thought.

"I know Mac, I know…" was all she managed to say.

Time passed, neither of them sure of how much exactly, they were still standing before the window, night already set on New York City, the lights of the nearby skyscrapers barely illuminating the living room and their arms wrapped firmly around one another, when Stella felt his body relax a bit in her embrace she spoke again:

"Listen Mac, I'm not gonna lie to you, you will always miss them, that's a fact that neither you nor I can change. The only thing you can do when you feel like you miss them too much is to hold onto the good memories you have of them."

"Stella I don't think I can, not alone…"

"Mac you're never alone, you should know that by now. I am, and always will be, here for you. Is that clear Taylor?"

She felt his head nod against her neck and a small smile appeared on her face.

"Now, do you remember that day when Claire and I were trying to cook lasagna but we only managed to burn them creating that cloud of smoke that took ten minutes to dissipate? And then you came in into the kitchen with this disbelieving face and told us we were the only 2 women you knew which could manage to burn boiling water."

He chuckled at that, and she was sure that a tiny grin was now present on his handsome face. He remembered that day like it were yesterday, pre-cooked lasagne, and yes, they burned it, the how they did that though was still unknown to him.

"And do you remember when you told me how, when you were 8, you knocked your dad out with a baseball ball?"

Another light chuckle, he remembered that episode too, they were playing baseball in the yard, his dad throw the ball at him and when he hit it went straight back to his father's head knocking him out for several minutes, thankfully it wasn't nothing serious but it made them both laugh afterwards.

"See what I mean Mac? When you're sad think of those happy moments and you'll feel a little bit better, a little less sad."

He let the words sink, then he squeezed her to him once more, inhaling deeply her unique scent, causing another shiver to run up her back, before slowly rising his head from her shoulder and look her into the eye, the pain and the anguish were gone from his blue pools as well as the weight and cold that had oppressed his chest for the whole case.

"What would I do without you Stella?" he asked more to himself than to her.

"You'd do just fine Mac." She replied as her hand, of its own volition, moved to his cheek and caressed the soft skin there and surprisingly enough he leaned in her touch and placed a light kiss on her palm before she slipped it away.

Since they came back from Greece she felt that something in their friendship had changed, kind of evolved. Back there Mac had admitted that he cared for her and even though she already knew it, hearing the words actually being spoken was completely a different matter, it was like an acknowledgement, it was something tangible. In the years their relationship has grown exponentially, from simply being colleagues in the police, to co-workers, to best friends, so it was sort of natural for her having developed feelings that ran way more deeply than friendship, although till Thessaloniki she had no idea Mac could feel the same way about her, so there she was, speechless for the unexpected gesture and completely lost in his ocean blue eyes.

Mac didn't know why he's done that, he just felt like it and for once he didn't let his mind talk him out of it, he just let his heart take the lead and his lips were against her delicate palm, and it felt incredibly right only if for a brief instant, before she retreated her hand still staring at him with her beautiful sapphire eyes silently asking _'what was that?'._ He didn't have an answer, at least not one that made sense to him so he simply stated:

"Thank you Stella, thank you for always being here when I need you."

"C'mon Mac, don't even say that." She replied while a smile appeared on her perfect face.

"Alright, I'm gonna fix the dinner I promised you, meanwhile why don't you try and relax?"

"Yeah…"he said wincing while rotating his shoulders and neck, and as a good detective as she was Stella noticed his discomfort.

"Mac are you ok? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, I'm fine. My neck and shoulders are just a bit stiff, that's all, don't worry."

"Here, let me see if I can help."

That said and not leaving him time to counter, she directed him to his couch had him sat down with his back toward her front and immediately he felt small warm hands on his neck, her thumbs begun kneading the base of his neck until she felt the muscles there relax, then moving her hands to work on the muscles between neck and shoulder she heard him take in a sharp breath, probably because of a particular sore spot she thought.

She was just loosing the knot when he spoke again, breaking the companionable silence they've fell in.

"I meant what I said, I really am thankful to have you in my life."

Not leaving her task at hand she replied:

"And so am I to have you in mine, but I've already told you that, haven't I?" she smirked remembering the conversation they had.

"Yes you have, that night in my office when we came back from Greece."

He confirmed, his words were filled with sleep and keeping his eyes open was costing him more than an effort, nonetheless he wanted to talked to her about what happened in her native land, he had to let her know what he felt for her.

"And about what happened back there…I think we need to talk…" he started but a yawn interrupted him, inevitably his eye closed and now that his back was completely relaxed after her expert finger relieved all the tension, his mind and body gave in to exhaustion and he fell asleep.

"You're worn out, can't it wait till tomorrow?" she asked dreading what he wanted to talk about, maybe he was still mad because she went behind his back and right now she really didn't need nor wanted another scold.

He didn't answer her question and when she felt like her hands were the only thing supporting his weight and keeping him upright the thought that maybe he dozed off came to her mind, she allowed his back to slowly fall toward her until it was pressed against her chest and his head rested on her shoulder, from this point of view she could see that his eyes were closed and his breathing was shallow and regular, he was fast asleep. She couldn't help herself, she slightly turned her head and placed a tender kiss on his temple before trying to slip out of the couch without waking him, but suddenly his eyes opened, green met blue again and for a moment the whole world stopped around them as well as their hearts.

"Stay." Was the only thing he said but at seeing the uncertainty in her eyes he added "We haven't talked about _us_ yet…"

"Us? Mac if I did something wrong…" She was sincerely confused but before she could panic he cut her off.

"No you didn't do anything wrong, but since Greece something in me changed. I realized that I feel feelings for you and they go beyond just friendship. So I'd like to talk about it, talk about you and me and a possible us. That is if you want there to be an 'us'."

"And here I thought I was the only one dealing with this kind of feelings, you could have at least gave me an hint." She said smiling making him chuckle.

"Yes Mac, I'd love there to be an us."

One of his hand then came up and cupped her cheek guiding her face toward his, lips millimetres apart he gave her time to back out if she wasn't sure or didn't want to go further but she didn't so he closed the short distance between them and pressed his lips against hers. The kiss warmed them both, it was slow, lingering, not rushed, not aimed to arouse and yet full of passion, tongues sliding along one another, dancing a sensual dance. When they pulled apart his thumb stroked her cheek bone and she gave him one of her blinding smile. She was the first to speak when her head stopped spinning:

"Not to spoil the mood, because believe me I'm all for doing it again, but as much as I'd like to I think we both need to get some rest first."

He yawned. "You're right. So you're staying?" he asked a bit uncertain.

She nodded and gave him another quick kiss before settling more comfortably on the couch, her feet now propped up on the small coffee table in front of her, he sank down and stretched on the couch, his feet up the arm and his head resting on her thigh, she gently ran her fingers through his short hair her eyes fixed on his now closing, his hand blindly reached out for her free one, taking it in his he entwined their fingers together, brought their now linked hands to his lips and placed a kiss on her knuckles before lying them on his chest right above his heart. Moments later he was asleep again, the cloud of tormented emotions now was gone, Stella looked at him one last time before give into tiredness, her emerald green eyes closed and her last thought was one of a future together that filled her heart with joy and happiness.

The End.

Alright, now that you've been SMacked *smirks*, please let me know what you think about it. Reviews are good to my ego, and constructive criticisms are always appreciated.

**A/N2:** as i said at the moment i have not a beta so if someone is interested *hint, hint*. I'd love to talk to someone about my ideas.


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